My Second Attempt at Meditation

It is seven days since my first time meditating. I am attempting to make this a weekly routine. I toyed with the idea of trying to meditate every day, but I felt that was too much of a commitment as I am just starting out. Once a week is probably more realistic for me.

I am in the same circumstances as last week. My fiancée is at work and it is just the cats and I.

I woke up a little later than last time, so unfortunately there were some maintenance workers right outside our apartment. They are painting the outside of the building.

It’s hard for me to ignore the sound of their equipment and their conversations themselves. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully getting in the meditative mood, I take a little break and decide to play some video games with some friends online. After about an hour, I tell my friends I got to go and I head back to the bedroom. The maintenance workers are no longer there, and they have moved to the other side of the building.

I sit Indian style on my bed and close my eyes. The cats are hanging out in the room also, making just enough noise to distract me. I do my best to ignore them and focus on my breathing. For some reason it is a lot harder to concentrate this week. I can’t seem to be able to get in the same Zen as my first time meditating.

I catch myself opening my eyes every so often to either look at the clock or check out what the cats are doing. It’s not as easy this time to “be mindful,” as the saying goes. Many minutes go by as I keep my eyes closed, but my thoughts are keeping me from meditating.

To make things worse, I cannot get into a comfortable position. I am fidgeting, and at one point I changed positions every several seconds. Last week I got in a good position right away and it was not a problem. This time, however, it is a different story. After a few more minutes, I finally get into a semi-comfortable position.

Again, I close my eyes and attempt to focus on my breathing. Keyword is attempt. I definitely am not making any progress. Finally, after about twenty minutes I give up. I get up and make some coffee. It seems I have taken a step back from last week. I guess it is time for me to do a little more research into meditating, and not just trying to wing it.

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11 thoughts on “My Second Attempt at Meditation”

  1. Good on you for starting this journey. If you approach meditation with gentleness, kindness toward yourself and patience, it can – in my own experience – really change your life over the course of a few weeks, then months, then years. Just keep on watching, observing your mind like a hunter listening in deep woods. That deep, intense observation, tempered with kindness and patience rather than wilfulness. It takes time…be patient and pick and stick with one method for some time. It will also really help to go on a retreat once you find that meditation is a helpful ally in your life journey. Good luck!

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  2. I believe you were very successful in this attempt. You sat with yourself for twenty minutes. Bravo!! Their is no proper experience to have. Every session is as it should be and should not be compared to any other session or anyone’s experience. Be patient and loving with yourself with each practice.

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  3. I often ask people I meet (like co-workers) if they meditate and the universal reply seems to be, “Why?” And you can’t answer them (having a sense of what meditation is for) because the experience doesn’t really have anything to do with what they think they are or WHO they think they are. It’s not an activity because it’s not content. Activity’s suppose to be content (for the mind). Why can’t we be in a constant state of meditation? It’s a matter of slowing down your thinking, the interval of thought and observing the creation of space between the thoughts. That space is actually the first glimpse a person has as to their true nature. What that space is and what love is, is the same. It’s just peace. When I am amongst others, like at work, I am the space that observes. To be otherwise you are limited like how ego is limited in terms of perception because it believes it is the body/body-mind/social-memory complex (whatever you choose to call it). It’s all just light and intelligent light at that. Light and love which is consciouness’ source and we are one being. It really is love that is always perceiving itself. Your blog is extremely fascinating and important. Not just to you but the whole world. One shared experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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