How Mindfulness Helped Me at a Wedding

“If you are thinking too much about the past, and you are worrying too much about the future, then you are not living in the present. And in the present, that is all there is.”

A quote I read recently went something like that. I don’t know the exact wording, but the whole idea behind that statement has stuck with me. Ever since I’ve been meditating, I have had this new positive outlook on life. I do my best to stay in the moment; I do not worry about the past, and I do not worry about the future.

I’ve mentioned before that I have slight social anxiety, and this past weekend I was at a wedding where my fiancée was a bridesmaid. I didn’t know anybody else there. I only met the bride a couple times, and I met one of the other bridesmaids a few times as well. Other than that, I knew nobody. A couple years ago I probably would have felt extremely nervous leading up to this wedding; not knowing anybody and being in that type of situation would have made me feel very anxious.

Leading up to this particular wedding, however, I was not worried about anything at all. While I was there, I did not feel as self-conscious or nervous about meeting new people. It was an outdoor wedding on a ranch, so there was a lot to look at and experience. I was able to meet some of the other guests and take in the scenery. I tried to stay as mindful as I could, and it certainly did help me.

Getting to this ranch was a trek. I drove through some rural roads in the next town over. After about 20 minutes of driving through nothing but fields, hills, and sparse houses, I finally got to the ranch. There was a nice older fellow who directed me to the parking lot, which consisted of dirt and trees—no roads here anymore. Once I parked and got out of my car, my fiancée greeted me who had been there since the morning helping setting everything up and getting herself ready as a bridesmaid. She introduced me to one of the other bridesmaid’s boyfriend. He didn’t know anybody there either, so we pretty much became companions the rest of the day.

The ceremony was outdoors among hills and trees, and a nice gazebo. They had their two dogs as the ring bearers; they even had them dressed in dog tuxedos, which was a nice touch. After the ceremony and while the wedding party were taking pictures, there were hors d’oeuvres and drinks served inside a beautiful barn. One of the other guests told us that the groom had actually rebuilt that barn within the past year; it used to be in terrible shape and extremely old. Now it looked brand new and extraordinarily well crafted (not that I know much about barns).

The reception was outdoors as well. Overall, very well put together and fun. They had games, music, and a cool little photo booth. The food was buffet style and they had an open bar.

If I had not established a meditation routine, I probably would have hated being there and would have just been counting the minutes until we could leave. But because of this newfound attitude, I truly was able to appreciate this day.

Going back to that quote from earlier regarding living in the present—I realized that I had been thinking about the past way too much. I would replay certain situations in my mind where I would feel embarrassed or insecure about what I said or did. I have to remind myself that people are not going to remember my embarrassing moments, because they’ll be preoccupied with what’s going on in their own lives.

And it wasn’t just the past that I was overly anxious about. I would worry about the future too much as well. For example, for the wedding—I probably would have imagined awkward scenarios I’d put myself in, which would cause myself to be extremely anxious and nervous about attending. But now, instead of focusing on the future, I look at the present as the time to focus on. After doing that more, I feel much more calm and at ease. I feel less stressed out and less worried about how I should act or what I should say. I was not worried at all about being at a wedding not knowing anyone.

Meditating helped me see all of this. As I have attempted to bring mindfulness to my daily life, I am seeing these minor improvements in my life. The wedding is just a small example. On a larger scale, in more social situations I feel more at ease. I am not worried about what to say or how to act; I am remaining in the moment, being mindful as I live my life.

 

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17 thoughts on “How Mindfulness Helped Me at a Wedding”

  1. You write incredibly well and the content is great! You’ve got a powerful message here and one that we all need to be reminded of. All we’ve got is this moment and once it’s gone we’ll never get that same moment again. So we’d best appreciate it and not let it be polluted by worries over the twin phantoms of the past and future. Great post. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I also experience some social anxiety, I found it to be worst if I’m not feeling good about myself. Do you believe that meditation also helps you to be more comfortable on your own shoes and that could help you handling these situations? Good luck and thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent post, very well written. I am beginning to experience some of the same feelings that come with living in the present, undoubtedly brought on by my own meditation practice. Keep up the great writing. I look forward to reading your future posts.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. To answer your question, I think meditation does help me be more comfortable in my own shoes and helps me handle social situations. I also used to not feel good about myself sometimes. But after meditating for some time, I realized that it was all in my head. My monkey mind was thinking up reasons and excuses as to why I should not feel good about myself. If I can quiet my mind, then there is nothing telling me bad things about myself. I also cannot control what others feel or say. So what if someone says something that hurts my feelings? It is easier now for me to acknowledge what it is they said, accept it, and let it go. A person can say something with the intent to hurt me, but I don’t have to let it affect me at all. I am in control of my own feelings; I do not let others dictate how I feel. Sorry, I kind of just rambled on there at the end. But thank you for the comment! I actually may end up writing an actual post that is more thought out and one that makes more sense. Haha!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You made a lot of sense for me in this comment. But I would love to read more about it 🙂 thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I also feel it, sometimes I don’t. Maybe I just need more practice 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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